Breaking Bus News

The Bus has claimed yet another victim. Similar to Santa Monica’s Big Blue Bus, but infinite in size and lacking in color (it’s invisible), The Bus is believed to have swept up it’s latest victim somewhere in the vicinity of LA’s Westside.

The Bus, known to many throughout the country as the answer to the question “Why didn’t he call?,” has been around for many years but only very recently has the public learned of its existence. Says one once-confused-but-now-in-the-know-single woman, “I always wondered what happened to the guys I went on dates with that disappeared. You know, the ones who said they’d call but didn’t. Now I know. The Bus picked them up.”

“He said he’d call. And he never did,” proclaims another woman, “I guess The Bus makes more sense than the possibility of him being abducted by aliens. Right?”

Of course, not all is answered with this recent discovery. The questions still remain: What exactly happens to these men once they get on The Bus? Are they then abducted by aliens? Brought to an island filled with other non-callers? Reformed and brought back to the dating world? We’ll never know.

20 Comments »

Anonymous

August 31st, 2004 | 10:00 am


Oh my god that was hysterical!

mom

August 31st, 2004 | 12:51 pm


THAT WAS HILARIOUS . .. DOES THAT MEAN SDG1 DID NOT CALL…

annabel lee

August 31st, 2004 | 1:41 pm


Bummer, I’m sorry to hear that. My JDate for tonight is apparently the latest victim – he never called to determine where we’d meet. Grrr. I kind of picture “the bus” as the Knight Bus from _Harry Potter_…

hilary

August 31st, 2004 | 3:08 pm


i always thought they were flattened by it, as in “hit” not so much “picked up”.

Hilary

August 31st, 2004 | 8:11 pm


Well yeah, the bus hits them, thus rendering them helpless. They are then put on the bus.

JAB

August 31st, 2004 | 9:17 pm


You are an endless source of wisdom!

Elise

September 1st, 2004 | 3:17 am


He is so going to call, he wouldn’t have texted you if he didn’t intend to call. He hasn’t been hit by the bus yet, he’s just crossing the road and there is lot’s of traffic in LA.

Katie

September 1st, 2004 | 3:05 pm


The bus is a mysterious thing, alright…

Michael

September 1st, 2004 | 4:23 pm


I learn so much about the female psyche coming here.

Gooch

September 1st, 2004 | 4:41 pm


Mike and I will beat him up if you want.

Hilary

September 1st, 2004 | 5:38 pm


Thank you Gooch. If you can’t find him to beat him up, you can find me a nice guy who won’t disappear.

Drew

September 1st, 2004 | 5:46 pm


Good luck with the surgery, Hil…

Keep us updated!

Hilary

September 1st, 2004 | 6:30 pm


Michael is that a good thing?

Drew, thank you! It’s been postponed until Tuesday now. More time for me to stress!!

Jason

December 16th, 2005 | 2:42 pm

ha. Sorry I’m so late to the party, but this is hilarious. Makes me think of that old 1970s movie “The Car” or “Christine”…

JDaters Anonymous » The Vanishing

November 21st, 2006 | 1:53 pm

[...] Hit by “the bus” [...]

Lady S

January 15th, 2007 | 11:34 am

I used to be in love with this guy. And when I look back, he may have been the only boy I ever really loved until I realized I love my DH. We used to have this thing about getting hit by a bus. Only I think it was a good thing. Boy, did I love him.

JDaters Anonymous » Brilliant Insight Found

May 8th, 2007 | 12:17 pm

[...] In perusing some of my regular dating-related reads, I caught up on my friend JDater Joe, who had the following to say about JDate after corresponding with a woman who then disappeared. (Hilary? Is this another victim of The Bus?) [...]

Randy P

February 1st, 2008 | 11:10 pm

Hilary,

Maybe you forgot to tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree. That is why they don’t get off the bus.
http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=kPHGGJCaQJY%3D

Andy Z

October 7th, 2008 | 1:14 pm

Actually, they all fall into the dryer and go where the socks go. This is why guys look for wives. They recognize the danger that is inherent in doing your own laundry. You could get sucked into the dryer and never be seen again. Fortunately, dryers have no taste for women. Women, unfortunately, seem to get sucked down the shower drain more often than men are sucked into the dryer, though. (But the little drain screen helps stop it.) For every woman who wonders whatever happened to the guy, there’s ten guys wondering whatever happened to that woman, I’m sure.

JDaters Anonymous » Tough Economy: Date, or Look for Work?

January 25th, 2009 | 12:01 pm

[...] Many of us are out of work, and are spending all day and likely evenings and nights cruising the internet looking for the right job. We’re preparing and sending resumes and interviewing in person, and waiting for a callback when we think it’s the right fit. We experience the disappointment of having interviews that we tank, and others that seem to go well, but the interviewing company either tells us “it’s not you, it’s us” or just gets hit by the equivalent of the work Bus. [...]

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